Finding love
by hanamiyoko1
Summary: Angry and tired of his life, Arthur ran away just to be captured by Ivan. Will he ever find his happiness or will his story repeat itself again? Read at your own risk. Start out as USUK, later will be RusUK.


**Finding Love**

Authur: Chiara Selene (Giang Bích Nguyệt aka me).

Other names: Refind my sunshine (Tìm lại ánh dương).

Genres: Supernatural; Hurt/Comfort.

Rated: M.

Disclamed: They don't belong to me.

Summary: Angry and tired of his life, Arthur ran away just to be captured by Ivan. Will he ever find his happiness or will his story repeat itself again? Read at your own risk.

This is my first fanfiction so please tell if you see any gramma mistake.

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**Chap 1: Memory for the last time**

Characters:

_England: Arthur Kirkland.

_America: Alfred F. Jones – Arthur's crush.

_France: Francis Bonney – Arthur's best and only real friend.

_Scotland: Allistor Kirkland – Arthur's big brother.

_OC: Emi Kirkland – Arthur's little sister.

_OC: Victoria Kirkland – Arthur's mother.

_OC: William Kirkland – Athur's father (But he never ever claims this man his father).

Place: Arthur's own room.

Theme song: When there was me and you – Vanessa Hudgens; High school musical 1.

Warning: Strong emotions.

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**Arthur's POV:**

Alone. I was alone now. In my room or a prison, I didn't care. Dirty messy dark blonde hair, porcelain skin, dull emerald eyes, dirty clothes, lying in the middle of the room and staring the ceiling. The room which was full of expensive furnitures, warm fireplace, and crystal lights, … just a nothing to me. All I saw was grey, black, cold, hopeless, neglect and alone. Such a shame for a gentleman, but why I had to care? What's the point to care when my only friend went missing, lost the love of my life to my sister and she loved him with all her heart?

Sighing, I looked outside through the window where Alfred, Emi, my mom - Victoria and big brother – Allistor were having an afternoon tea, peacefully, happily. A picture now I couldn't join nor I would ever can. Alfred, Alfred he was smiling, talking happily just like... before. He didn't need me... tried to stop the tears, I looked back to all of these's start.

_It's funny when you find yourself_

_looking from the outside_

_i'm standing here but all I want_

_Is to be over there_

_Why did I let myself believe_

_Miracles could happen_

_Cause now I have to pretend_

_That I don't really care_

Everything started from my forbidden love for Alfred. We had also been friend since forever. I always took care of him no matter what, just like a brother and a lover would. When he was ill, when he was sad, depressed or happy, just like a habit, I was always there with him. Together, we did everything, from eating, playing, singing to go to adventures and expeditions. I had to admit that I loved to watch him when he was sleeping so I used to sing him to sleep. Yes, despite his complains about my low, some-how sad voice and non-sense songs. The songs for a love made of thin glass, a forbidden love.

_I thought you were my fairy tail_

_A dream when I'm not sleeping_

_A wish upon the star_

_It's coming true_

_But everybody else could tell_

_that I confused my feelings_

_With the truth_

_When there was me and you_

Those was such happy time, until William, that bastard found out about my love. Disgusted, he called me a whore, an ignominious to the family's and Queen's name, a pollution air. But I never mind, not that I ever care about him, and then mom too. So she started to inorge me and cared more about my siblings. It hurt me so much 'cause she's the only one (beside Alfred and Francis - the bloody frog) ever cared about me. So now, I tried to remember the good time to wipe away the tears.

_I swore I knew the melody_

_That I heard you singing_

_And when you smiled you made me fell_

_Like I could sing along_

Alfred - who used to be so sweet when we were all young, when we and Francis usually sat together, sang, laughed and played. Oh! Those old good time, I remembered all of them, every single laugh, every precious melody, promises. And of course his words - which make me believed and hoped about a relationship between us 'I love you Artie', 'Love you so much', …. When all his attentions were for me, he was my wolrd, my happiness, my hopeness. The only bright stripe in my meaningless life.

_But then you went and changed the world_

_Now my heart is empty_

_I'm only lelf with used to be_

_An once upon the song_

So why? Why you did that to me? Were all your words not for me? Were your sincere eyes mean for someone else? My sister? Why?

When I finally had the strength to confess, you apologied and told me you loved EMI. Didn't you know that you broke my heart, destroyed my world, my last hopeness and shattered my dreams? Why? Why? WHY? I tried to remain calm and emotionless, tried to stop my tears, tried not to break down in front of you. All I could say was:

_"I am happy that you find the love of your life!" - and ran away.

Just to cry all the long night alone. Alone in the depressed, in the darkness, in the hopeless. Screw my life! So al of our relationships I though were love, just a... a FRIENDSHIP. Ha, all the happiness I felt were just the illusion I made. Who was I to think that you loved me? No one! NO ONE! All was just one-sided feeling. Ha, tried to remember the happiness was liked living in the dream, and be heartbroken when I woke up.

_And dreams were meant for sleeping_

_and wishes on the star_

_Just don't come true_

_Cause now even I can tell_

_That I confused my feelings with the truth_

_Cause I like the view_

_When there was me and you_

_I can't believe_

_That I could be so blind_

_It's like you were floating_

_While I was falling_

_And i didn't mind..._

_Because i like the view..._

_Thought you felt it too_

_When there was me and you._

I loved you, loved you so much Alfred. But I wished you a happy life. Because I knew Emi loved you and I wouldn't break you two's happiness... just like what you did to me. For the last time, for the last time Alfred. The words 'I love you, Alfred' I had just written by my bood were dark red just like us, hopeless! And smiled sadly as the tears that now I couldn't stop anymore finally fell. Just... let this love be buried under the dust, in the time river. Please God, for the last time... .

* * *

As the wind carried his words away. It had already been dark outside and the sound of thunders could be heard. The waters fell from the sky, little by little until it became a heavy rain... or was the God cryingl for someone?

In the big heavy rain, a shadow stood on the church's roof. Yes, tonight, let the tears dropped and the rain to clean all sorrows. Let all bad memories gone with the wind and ready yourself for a new restart... . To become a new person...

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**TBC**

**Thank you: **Kuro The Dark Ringmaster, and CreamPuffBunny for showing me how to update a story or this story can't be published. *bow*

**A/N:** If you guys have any suggestions, share with me. It's happy to know what do you think about my story. Anyway, good day!


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